


watch and ward smoke weed.jpg

by harpycall



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: M/M, Recreational Drug Use, fairly gay, not as gay as i would like it to be but its fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harpycall/pseuds/harpycall
Summary: Why do your job when you can just get high with your bro and maybe kiss a little? This question runs through Watch and Wards heads every day.





	watch and ward smoke weed.jpg

**Author's Note:**

> vbvbbv second fic ever and its once again two bros getting high and kissing. i think i might have a niche lads.  
> also wild as shit that this is the first fic on ao3 that is actually tagged as watch/ward. why is the vb fandom full of cowards who are afraid of writing about two gay bros.   
> anyway huge mega thanks to blair and grayson for beta-ing because i can only write when im high apparently, and boy this thing was a mess before they got their hands on it. enjoy!

It had been a long day of mind numbing busy work, and Watch was about at the end of his rope. He ran through the files of recent guild applicants, sighing as he realized that there was way too much actual work to do. He stopped, leaning to crack his back, when he heard Ward.

"Hey, check what time it is." Watch looked down at the clock on his monitor. 

"Haha, 4:20, nice," He glanced over to look over at ward, only to see that he had produced a joint from seemingly thin air.

"Dude, what? Are you seriously going to smoke that?" Ward pulled the joint away from his mouth and laughed.

"Uh, yea, of course. Is that a problem?"

"No, not really. I mean, are you gonna…" Watch paused, scratching his cheek. "You know. Share? 

Ward laughed again. "I believe the phrase is 'don't bogart that joint,' but yea, of course." He brought the lighter up to the joint, and lit it before taking a puff. He then handed it to Watch as a thought hit him. 

"Do we have a smoke alarm in here?" Ward exhaled as Watch looked at him and took the joint from Ward.

"Y'know, I have no idea! I feel like fire safety isn't the top priority for a bunch of villains." Watch said before taking a hit.

"yea, I’m not seeing one. That's kinda unsettling." Ward took the joint back from Watch and lit up as another idea crossed his mind. "Oh, we should totally do that shotgunning thing!"

Watch looked around the room. "You mean the thing where you stab a beer can?"

Ward coughed as he shook his head. "No, no, no, it’s this thing where someone takes a hit, gets real close to someone and blows it into their mouth. We should absolutely try it, dude."

"Ok, I have two problems with that. One, that is absolutely not how weed works. Two, that sounds extremely gay." 

"But you’re gay! What’s the problem!"

Watch took a hit, not excited about where this conversation was going. Exhaling, he raised his eyebrows. "I’m gay, but that doesnt mean im going to kiss you."

"It's not kissing! Our mouths don't even have to touch if you don't want them to!"

"Wh—dude, how is this not gay! How am I supposed to hear you say that without thinking this is the gayest thing in the world! And that's still not how smoking works in the slightest!" Watch set down the joint before his gesturing sent it across the room.

"How do you know it won’t work, Mr. Smart Guy? What, did you go to fuckin’ weed university or something?" 

Watch raised his arms into the air, yelling. "You don't have to go to weed school to know regular fucking smoke comes out of your mouth! It just sounds like you really want to kiss me, man." 

Ward sputtered as he reached for the joint. "Oh, I so do not! I just thought it would be a fun thing to try, ass." he said, frowning as he relit the joint and took another hit.

"Again, sounds like you just want to kiss." Watch took the joint from Wards hand and mumbled, "You could just ask like a normal person, you know." 

Ward looked at him in surprise. "But you just said you don't want to kiss me! make up your mind!"

Watch sighed, outstretching the hand he had the joint in and shook his head. "I just don't want it to be some weird 'no homo' thing that you get all awkward about later." He leaned back against his chair as he finally started feeling the effects of the weed. 

"What! I wouldn't make it awkward, what the hell?" Ward rests his head against his chair. "Why would you think I would make it weird?"

Watch gave him a withering look as Ward took one of the last hits. "Look, I’m not gonna kiss you, dude. I'm sorry if that breaks your heart, or whatever, but I'm not going to go around kissing straight dudes, okay?" 

Wards eyebrows shot up as he started coughing, smoke puffing out of his mouth. "You- you think I’m straight?"

"You're not?"

"Fuck no, dude! I’m bi!" Ward started laughing as he gave Watch the joint to finish it off.

Watch sat, his mouth agape, as he slowly reached for the joint. "You mean, you weren't straight this whole time?" 

"if I was, I would tell you, man." Ward glanced over as Watch tapped out the joint on the side of his desk. "so... about that shotgunning..." 

Watch let out a sharp laugh. "You know what? Sure. If you have more weed I'll kiss it into your mouth, or whatever." He grinned looking over at Ward, only to see him pull another joint out of his pocket. "No fucking way."

"Hah! It’s too late! You can't take it back and now you have to give me smokey kisses." 

Watch laughed as he watched Ward light the second joint. "God, you are ridiculous"

\---

After many attempts, they were on the floor, laying against the wall as Ward finally agreed that it wasn’t working and allowed them to smoke it normally. He slumped against Watch, resting his head on his shoulder. "I guess you really earned that pot degree, huh?" 

Watch tapped the joint out against the cold floor and glanced over at Ward. "Oh, you bet. Top of my class at the college of grass." Ward looked up at him and snickered, patting his hand against Watchs cheek. 

"You made a rhyme, you fuckin... poet." He giggled more as Watch began laughing.

"Oh my god, I totally did! I didn't mean to, that was completely on accident!" 

Ward laughed even harder as he collapsed onto Watchs lap. "You have the mind of a genius! You should should do slam poetry, you would get all the artsy gay guys." 

"What makes you think I would want artsy gay dudes? I’m... I’m more into bad boys, I guess."

Ward looked up with his head still resting in Watchs lap. "What, like me?" Watch dropped his hand onto Wards face and laughed as he squawked in surprise. 

"Shut up, you dick. I’m starting to think you might have a thing for me." Wards laugh trailed off as he looked away towards their monitors. Watchs eyebrows shot nearly off his face.

"Oh my god, no way! you do have a thing for me! That’s why you wanted to kiss me so bad!" He began laughing.

Ward turned his head away, though not removing it from Watchs lap. "Ugh, shut up. So what, I might have a thing for you. It's not funny, dude."

"No, it totally is!" Ward started to sit up and Watch pulled him back against him with arm hooked across Wards shoulders. "I told you, just ask like a normal person." Watch glanced over at Ward, eyes flickering down to his mouth. 

“Uh...What are you- listen, I don’t know if you really think it’s that funny or what, but don’t mess with-” Watch took that moment to press his lips against wards.

Ward made a muffled noise of surprise and smiled while leaning into the kiss. As they separated, he leaned his head against Watchs shoulder, still grinning. "That was way better than shotgunning."

Watch let out a laugh and leaned down for another kiss, Ward happily reciprocating. 

Watch rested his forehead against Wards. "We still have so much work to do."

Ward laughed. "Fuck it. What are they gonna do, fire us?"


End file.
